Dear 28 year old me,

After being so inspired by Kate's blog, I decided to write a letter to my 28 year old self. I'm warning you now that I have so many questions to ask myself, so don't hesitate to click the exit key. I won't mind. This blog post is more about myself anyway. But, I encourage you to write one of your own. It helped me remember what was important to me.
Here goes!

Dear 28 year old me,
Are you living in Chicago, or did you choose New York? Did you end up going to Portland State University for your bachelors in English and than moved on to New York University to receive your masters in Publishing?
Are you totally indecisive like you were when you were 16?
Do you still have great difficulty refusing dessert? Are you still addicted to sugar like you have been all your life?
Do you still get teased for being short, or have you actually grown?
Are you happy? Do you consider yourself successful? If not, make a change.
Did you buy a Mustang yet, or are you car-less since you're living in some big city? Are you okay with that?
Are you having regrets moving away from Portland like you always assumed you would? Have you gone back to visit Portland yet? You better have, or else do it now. Book a flight!
Have you traveled to Greece yet?
Do you have a tattoo of the Gemini sign yet? I'm assuming so...
Do you still have your nose piercing in? I never did think you would ever get used to it...
Are you still in love with the sun? Why did I even ask that, because I know that will never change.
Are you still sensitive?
How's the WPW syndrome? I hope it hasn't bothered you too much...
What's society like? Have you learned to live your life without societal pressures?
Do you still read whenever you have free time?
Have you gotten over the excitement of freedom and indepedence, or have you totally forgotten to appreciate it?
Do you still have Max? He'd be 12... If not, was it hard losing him and Chester?
Have you gotten new dogs to replace them? That's so sad to think about.
Do you still have L.A, your turtle? Are you still mistreating her? I know I'm still having issues keeping up with feeding her even after 5 years of having her...
How's Dad? Has he gotten help yet?
How's Mom? I bet she's working in some big hospital. Tell her I love her!
How's Phil? Still crackin' jokes that no one understands?
How's Grandma? I really hope she's still healthy and in our lives.
How's Grandma Vickie and Grandpa? Have you gone to Romania yet to visit them?
How's Tony? Is he still reppin' Rip City proudy?
How's Elly? Did you guys end up roomin' together in Chicago?
How's Carmen? Has she re-married yet?
How's Vali and the family in Romania? If you don't know, than you should really find out.
Do you still close your eyes when you listen to a really good song? Is your laugh still a cackle? If not, I'd be thoroughly shocked.
Do you still blog?
Have you gotten a book published yet?
Have you even finished a novel? If so, I'm proud.
Have you fallen in love yet? If not, open your heart and soul. I know how much we always struggled with that.
Have you discovered the meaning of life? Hahaha, that's a pointless question to ask... I know we never will.
Do you have regrets? If you do, let go of them. Just remember that the past is the past.
Are you still in contact with Maddie, Yarden, Karen, Alyssa, Britney, Tiffany and Gracey?
Are you married? That's such an odd scenario to imagine.
Are you suddenly a cat lover?
Do you still sleep crooked?
Do you still have that A to ZEN of life poster that you used to stare at multiple times a day when you were 16?
Have you thought about moving to California again? I always did dream of California...
Have you done anything really big with your life?
Have you saved a life?
Have you gone ziplining through a forest like you've always wanted to?
Have you learned to cook yet? Please tell me you're not living off of Mac 'n' Cheese and Eggo waffles!
Please tell me you've gone to visit Nana, Lori and Lindell in California.
Do you still have your pearl ring that Grandma gave me? Do you still wear it every single day? How about the ring from Dad? And the pearl necklace from Mom... If you lost any of them than I'm so disappointed. Those always meant so much to me.
Have you gotten over your silly fear of eye drops? I doubt it...
Do you still pick off your nailpolish and pick at your lips when you're stressed or nervous? I seriously hope not...
Is your right ankle still sensitive and rolled easily?
Are you still really clumsy?
Have you made memories and stuffed them all in a scrapbook like I always attempted to do but would never finish?
Do you still question everything?
Are you still obsessed with making lists?
You're still stubborn, aren't you?
Has your view on religion changed?
Please tell me you're happy. If not, then do something to help both of us.
I bet you that you have questions for your 40 year old self. My mind spins if I even try to imagine myself ever reaching that age. If you're really curious and bored than you should write a letter.
And once again, open your heart and soul to change girl. And I'm sorry if something I've done now affected us negatively and has impacted your lifestyle. Let's just try to make the most of it.
Love, 16 year old me. <3


Sorry about the long blog post. You're probably not as enthralled as you thought you would be. Maybe next time. Have a good Spring Break everybody!

Does society power us, or do we power it?

As a society, we've got it totally wrong. Why am I starting my post with this? Because I have a lot to say that's built up over the years. As I've grown up, I've begun to realize the realities of our lives. Every single individuals life may different, but aren't we all living on the same earth, sometimes in the same city? In school, I've learned that there are huge differences between lesser economically developed countries and more economically developed countries, so I'm just going to speak for the United States, since that's where I've grown up my entire life. Remember, this is an opinionated post. Go ahead, comment on it and let me know your own opinion but please do not just bash on mine. Let's keep it sophisticated. Anyway, I wanna start with the media.
The power media has on us blows my mind. Just by hearing a song, or watching a TV show or even reading a newspaper we can morphe our own beliefs to fit the mold society has built. How this mold was built, I have no idea. These shows on television are so ridiculously fake I can't even allow myself to watch them because I feel literally brain dead for a few hours. No offence Snooki, but I really don't want to watch you and your 30 year old friends live the life of a teenager... To me, it's sad because it seems like we're moving backwards! Instead of growing up and maturing quicker, we're learning that it's okay to get drunk every single night and than wake up thirteen hours later ready to do it again. While our schools are attempting to help us become independent, media seems to throw that idea right out of the window. Don't get me wrong, I love a good movie once in a while but sometimes I just have to shake my head at the lengths society or our government will go to in order for us to change our own opinions.
Another thing I find ridiculous about our society is our lack of strength. I don't mean physically, but spiritually. I'm actually not sure if spiritually is the right word since I'm not referring to faith, but let's just roll with it for a second. Let's do a little exercise. Think back to the last time someone said anything negative. It could have been a sentance as simple as "I hate butter on my toast," to "I hate my life and I'm so tired of everyone." Now think about how many times you hear something like this on a daily basis... I'm pretty sure the number would be in the double or triple digits based on the kind of people you surround yourself with. Now, think of how many times you say it. You can be the most positive person around, but don't kid yourself... You do it too. Now, there's not a whole lot wrong with a little complaint once in a while but what I'm talking about is the things some people say. As human beings, we have the ability to morph our own attitude to fit the kind of life we want to live. Some people don't understand this concept. It's so easy to get carried away by complaining and not acting on those complaints because we think it makes us feel better. This negativity is just like alcohol. Although I can't speak for an addict, from what I've seen, they use the drug in order to feel better in any sort of way. Complaining, acting negative, moping, being mean, it's all a sort of drug. We do it to make ourselves feel better. How something like this can make someone feel better still shocks me, but it happens... temporarily. When all those negative thoughts begin to build up, it starts to have a toll on us mentally, emotionally and physically. So with everything I've just said, I think it's safe to say we are a weak society. But instead of moping around about how we act, let's try to change ourselves. It may seem like the solution is trying to fix society, but aren't we the base of society? It may seem that corporations and government rule these things, but it all starts with the people. So, change your own ways and than spread the word. Maybe if we all change one little aspect of our life, it can change a huge part of our future generations society.

Future plans... I mean surprises.

Things never turn out the way they're supposed to. We always get involved into something thinking "Okay, this is how it's going to turn out." But really, it never turns out that way! Life hands us situations and we're always the one to be surprised by the end result, when later in life when you look back you begin to think "How did I not see it coming?" How can we change that? How can we look at a situation before we get involved and know what's going to happen? Sometimes I wish we had the ability to do just that, but I know we can't.
But it's not always a bad thing. Usually the best things in life are from surprises. That "unexpected" child. The spontanious travel plans where you meet your future spouse. It's really amazing how these things just happen. So, since we never really for-see our future, we should stop trying to, and begin to really just absorb what's happening now.

My Introduction

Dear reader,
My posts are my opinions based on things I've experienced throughout my life. Those opinions may not be similar to yours, but just remember, you came to read my blog. I respect your opinions, please respect mine. Now that that's said, I'd like to really introduce myself.
My name is Gabby, and I'm only 16. My life has just begun, although sometimes it feels like it drags on for too long, and that's where this comes in. I've created this blog to remind myself that I go through tough times, and I get through them, and I hope that helps you. Like I said before, I'm only 16. When I was 12, all I wanted was to be 16 but now, all I want to be is 18 and heading to college. Throughout my life, I will continously look forward to my future.
I'm going to admit something. I'm not the kind of person who "lives for today" even though I do think that every person should dream big dreams, and go for them. I am that girl that plans everything. When I was 9, I knew what I wanted to be when I was older. When I was an innocent and naive seventh grader, I knew that I wasn't fit for this teenage stuff and I still think that. I've never been the girl to go to high school events because I would much rather be with friends in downtown Portland, or at dinner. Maybe that relates to my lack of interest with most sports (besides NBA basketball) but I'm pretty sure it's because I feel I never relate with most high schoolers.
My best friends are the same way. Ready for the future, and dreaming of it. So reader, if you're even out there, I'm going to lay it all out for you. Here is a simple list that really doesn't say enough;

My Dreams:
-To be happy. I know, everyone says that, but I mean genuinely happy. The kind of happy that only comes from things that I really love to do. The kind of happy that sometimes hurts.
-To become an editor at a publishing firm. This is that one dream that determines my life. It's my career. If you asked me what I wanted to become a few years back, I would have said an author. But I love reading too much. I'd rather read other people's writing and help them with my own writing skills. Since I've made this decision, I've been more focused, and my future is suddenly clear.
-To own my own book store when I retire. As I'm writing this, I'm laughing because I haven't really thought about this. I just woke up one morning imagining myself living at the Oregon Coast and drinking a cup of tea in my own book store, and it felt great.
-To move to a different country. I love traveling. It really is unlike anything else. I've always dreamed of moving to Greece and living a very simplistic life. We'll see how that one goes.
-To fall in love. I've seen everyone around me fall in love, but I seem to be the one that has issues trusting someone to that extent.

Those are my main dreams. The ones I think about every single day. I do have many more, but it seems like they're going to stay in my dreams for a while. And reader, I'm sorry about the long post. I promise none of my upcoming blog posts will be so long. Sometimes people just need to get their story out there first before anything else, and that's exactly what I did.