I'm just having one of those days.
One of those days that start out great, simply because you woke up, and turn out horribly. And trust me, I'm a completely optimistic person. Having a horrible day is so rare for me because I know that having a life is worth more than not having one. It's really as simple as that.
Except today.
Today, I just can't seem to understand that. I guess I'm just... having one of those days; and those kinds of days get me thinking. A lot. Actually, they get me thinking so much, that I want to severely stab myself in the temple with a rusty spoon just to get myself to shut up. Of course, I don't. I end up endlessly torturing myself by these sharp thoughts that just cut, stab, prick, slice, and prod at my brain until I am exhausted. Utterly and completely exhausted. So you can imagine having one of those days, and feeling exhausted because my mind just won't stop thinking. It's like a form of torture. So because of this, I am here. Transforming my feelings and energy through my fingettips onto this page. Well, screen.
Anyway, I guess in a nutshell, today sucked. Not necesarilly for any particular reason, but simply because I can't find the ability to dig through the bad to find the good. I'm just lacking that energy to want to explore through a pile of dog shit to find a diamond necklace. Sorry, it's just not there today. So, maybe I should stop ranting and actually get started on my post. If there actually was a reason for this post. Probably not. You tell me if this post was worth reading at the end.
Tonight, I'm going to talk about humans. Of course. Just like every other day. But, more specifically I want to talk about our ability to truly understand other people around us. Whether that's your parents, your friends, your siblings, or even your teachers. If we can't have a meaningful conversation with someone, then they're simply not worth our time. Seriously.
It quite honestly amazes me the way people throw around the phrase "I understand" so much. It's the same way with "I love you" or "I miss you". It's all just syllables exiting our mouths. They don't really mean anything. Those are just que words that are used to close a conversation. I would respect people more if they just said "shut up", or something that is more honest.
Back to the point; as humans, we need to learn to address other people's feelings and emotions in order to really understand. But just note, you'll never truly understand 100%. Maybe you are in a similiar situation, but just remember that everyone's life is different. There's no direct cooralition. No matter how much we want to tell ourselves that. So, with that, just know that you'll never really understand. Ever. But the key to helping people is by trying to understand. Or if you don't even want to try to understand because you can't fathom the situation, at least accept it. Don't fight something that's not your business. Let them handle their issues.
Let me do my own thing, and don't hold me back.
Have a good night everyone. Hope it's better than mine.
-Too honest Gabby
Saturday 8 September 2012
Friday 27 July 2012
Misunderstood
Are you aware of how hard it is to talk to someone who doesn't know an ounce of your native language? Or, if you don't know an ounce of their native language. Well, all I can say is that the words that come out of your mouth start to mean nothing! Now, you have to utilize your body movements in order to explain what would so easily be understood if you only knew eachothers language. Maybe you can attempt common hand signals to try to explain what you're trying to say, but either way what's important is that what words come out of your mouth literally mean nothing. They just become sounds that were once blended together.
So, after struggling with the challenge of speaking to another person without really speaking, start to think about things you can't really explain, even with a voice. Sometimes even when we try to explain the way we feel or think to someone, the same frustration that comes with not knowing a common language suddenly returns. Your hands start tingling and moving with the sounds of your voice, but really nothing is understood. You're trying so hard to explain why you are who you are, but everyone just gives you a blank face that only irritates you. Now you've begun to try harder. You're head is throbbing with ideas of how to translate what you feel is important, but keep in mind this person speaks your language! You're trying to yell, change your tone of voice, but only sounds come out. That other person, doesn't care. You're now isolated. Misunderstood. Now what do you do?
Walk away and enjoy your isolation. Were you shunned out of the society that has been created because you simply can't agree with their silent ways? That's fine. Be proud of it. Shout it at to the world, even though really they can't hear you. They're stuck in their small world of lines and squares. But you sir, you live in circles and ovals. Nothing is simple in your world. You are challenged with the thought of a world of isolation. But just enjoy it. Enjoy the fact that you can ignore what the other people say, because they don't talk. Yes, I know. It's crazy since you're the same species. You all have the ability to talk, yell, scream, even whisper. But, you're the only one who does. So don't save your voice for a time when you can actuallly talk to someone, because no one knows when that day will come.
So, after struggling with the challenge of speaking to another person without really speaking, start to think about things you can't really explain, even with a voice. Sometimes even when we try to explain the way we feel or think to someone, the same frustration that comes with not knowing a common language suddenly returns. Your hands start tingling and moving with the sounds of your voice, but really nothing is understood. You're trying so hard to explain why you are who you are, but everyone just gives you a blank face that only irritates you. Now you've begun to try harder. You're head is throbbing with ideas of how to translate what you feel is important, but keep in mind this person speaks your language! You're trying to yell, change your tone of voice, but only sounds come out. That other person, doesn't care. You're now isolated. Misunderstood. Now what do you do?
Walk away and enjoy your isolation. Were you shunned out of the society that has been created because you simply can't agree with their silent ways? That's fine. Be proud of it. Shout it at to the world, even though really they can't hear you. They're stuck in their small world of lines and squares. But you sir, you live in circles and ovals. Nothing is simple in your world. You are challenged with the thought of a world of isolation. But just enjoy it. Enjoy the fact that you can ignore what the other people say, because they don't talk. Yes, I know. It's crazy since you're the same species. You all have the ability to talk, yell, scream, even whisper. But, you're the only one who does. So don't save your voice for a time when you can actuallly talk to someone, because no one knows when that day will come.
Monday 23 July 2012
Soul food right here
Why, hello there! Tonight, my mood soars like that of a butterfly! And how can I confirm this? Well, I just compared myself to a butterfly, and did not gag due to the tackiness. This, my friends, is a sign that I am not only happy with my life, but I am incredibly balanced.
Oh, I know what you're thinking... "You're seriously going to write about the importance of a balanced life again?!" Woah! Calm yourselves. Tonight, I'm actually going to write about... Drumroll please...
The soul!
Oh my, I could go on forever about what our soul is, but honestly, everyone has their own view of what exactly it is. Stephenie Meyer, who wrote The Host viewed it as a silver slime looking thing that was removed from the neck and could be transferred into different host bodies. Although I totally love that book, I disagree. I don't think of it as a phyical being. I compare the soul to the wind. It's obviously there because you can feel it, but it's not something that you can see or grasp. It's almost like a concept. But, my view also runs parallel to Stephenie Meyer's when her view of the soul is what happens after it is transferred to a different host body. That soul, or who that person truly is simply placed into a new body. They can then control that body, and do with it as it pleases. Almost like reincarnation. Except in her novel, it's not a natural process like reincarnation is known to be. It's humans and doctors phsically moving that physical entity into a host body.
Okay, I'm getting carried away. Before I tell you everything that happens in that book, I would love to get back on track. So basically what I was trying to get across is that the soul can not be identified. It can't be confirmed, grasped, or handled. Well, in my opinion. Because of this, it drives humans crazy because we can't control it! The soul is where our feelings and emotions originate from. But, we can't control those! And doesn't that drive you crazy?! I know it drives me insane when I want to be one way, but I'm not feeling like that at all. So I'm ending my exhausting explanation by saying, feed the soul.
If you can't control it, let it control you. If it asks for more coffee because it craves it, than do it. If it gives your heart a squeeze because you need more love in your life, go get a dog or something. If it yearns for a little music, listen to what makes it happy. Oh, and learn to worship it, because when your soul has been fed to the brink, and it's content with all you've given it, you will finally feel happy. The soul is the most important part of you. Don't abuse it. Love it.
Oh, I know what you're thinking... "You're seriously going to write about the importance of a balanced life again?!" Woah! Calm yourselves. Tonight, I'm actually going to write about... Drumroll please...
The soul!
Oh my, I could go on forever about what our soul is, but honestly, everyone has their own view of what exactly it is. Stephenie Meyer, who wrote The Host viewed it as a silver slime looking thing that was removed from the neck and could be transferred into different host bodies. Although I totally love that book, I disagree. I don't think of it as a phyical being. I compare the soul to the wind. It's obviously there because you can feel it, but it's not something that you can see or grasp. It's almost like a concept. But, my view also runs parallel to Stephenie Meyer's when her view of the soul is what happens after it is transferred to a different host body. That soul, or who that person truly is simply placed into a new body. They can then control that body, and do with it as it pleases. Almost like reincarnation. Except in her novel, it's not a natural process like reincarnation is known to be. It's humans and doctors phsically moving that physical entity into a host body.
Okay, I'm getting carried away. Before I tell you everything that happens in that book, I would love to get back on track. So basically what I was trying to get across is that the soul can not be identified. It can't be confirmed, grasped, or handled. Well, in my opinion. Because of this, it drives humans crazy because we can't control it! The soul is where our feelings and emotions originate from. But, we can't control those! And doesn't that drive you crazy?! I know it drives me insane when I want to be one way, but I'm not feeling like that at all. So I'm ending my exhausting explanation by saying, feed the soul.
If you can't control it, let it control you. If it asks for more coffee because it craves it, than do it. If it gives your heart a squeeze because you need more love in your life, go get a dog or something. If it yearns for a little music, listen to what makes it happy. Oh, and learn to worship it, because when your soul has been fed to the brink, and it's content with all you've given it, you will finally feel happy. The soul is the most important part of you. Don't abuse it. Love it.
Sunday 15 July 2012
My platter of thoughts
Oh my, it's been a while. Can I just use an easy excuse that is seriously the most accurate? Well, it's Summer. The time is forgotten, the date doesn't matter, and the length of days depend on my mood. So here is my blog post...
P.S. I wrote this in the dark of my car while waiting for my brother to get off work. I was listening to Lil Wayne's album The Carter III and felt like a fish in a sea of sharks. Maybe that will help you interpret what I'm attempting to say. There's also going to be two entries since I wrote these on the same night, yet they differed.
Entry 1-
Humans have a lot of pressure. Daily we have to get up and look presentable. We have to seem happy and carefree every day. And with all of this, we have to make not only ourselves happy, but everyone else. What kind of world is that? That's absolutely ridiculous. But, we do it. Every damn day. Instead of only doing what we want in order to make ourselves happy, we change what type of person we truly are inside. Rather than laughing, we wear blank facades, and we do this with the goal of hiding our real emotions, dreams, disappointments, and desire. Yet, we have so many pressures. But all of these pressures are simply applied to ourselves. With these expectations that have developed from society, we live happy lives. But the incredibly ironic part is that society is not simply a thing. It's us! It's not the government, not corporations or propaganda. Okay, so maybe that's what conceives these ideas and convinces us to act the way we do, but who leads these things? We do. We, the people. WIth that said, what kind of people are we if we not only have developed this, but worship this idea?
Entry 2-
Brick after brick, we develop a building. A building that will soon house lives and be a part of making memories.
Day after day, we build a life. A life that will be filled with happy and cherished moments. Some moments may be rather regretful. During one of the last days of our life, we will only think of regrets. Whether it's about regrets of what we did, or what we didn't do. Either way, how many people are truly 100% happy with their lives? I've met no one. With this realization, how do we still do nothing with our days? Every day we do the same thing with our day, and we expect to fulfill dreams? If you're only working for one dream, than I guess it makes sense. But ladies and gentleman, I have way more than simply one dream. I have multiple. And I am absolutely determined to fulfill these. And for this reason, this is why I will not do the same thing every day. I will not simply walk through my days as if I had any to waste. Days are truly precious... How are you going to build a house when you're missing bricks?
You can't.
P.S. I wrote this in the dark of my car while waiting for my brother to get off work. I was listening to Lil Wayne's album The Carter III and felt like a fish in a sea of sharks. Maybe that will help you interpret what I'm attempting to say. There's also going to be two entries since I wrote these on the same night, yet they differed.
Entry 1-
Humans have a lot of pressure. Daily we have to get up and look presentable. We have to seem happy and carefree every day. And with all of this, we have to make not only ourselves happy, but everyone else. What kind of world is that? That's absolutely ridiculous. But, we do it. Every damn day. Instead of only doing what we want in order to make ourselves happy, we change what type of person we truly are inside. Rather than laughing, we wear blank facades, and we do this with the goal of hiding our real emotions, dreams, disappointments, and desire. Yet, we have so many pressures. But all of these pressures are simply applied to ourselves. With these expectations that have developed from society, we live happy lives. But the incredibly ironic part is that society is not simply a thing. It's us! It's not the government, not corporations or propaganda. Okay, so maybe that's what conceives these ideas and convinces us to act the way we do, but who leads these things? We do. We, the people. WIth that said, what kind of people are we if we not only have developed this, but worship this idea?
Entry 2-
Brick after brick, we develop a building. A building that will soon house lives and be a part of making memories.
Day after day, we build a life. A life that will be filled with happy and cherished moments. Some moments may be rather regretful. During one of the last days of our life, we will only think of regrets. Whether it's about regrets of what we did, or what we didn't do. Either way, how many people are truly 100% happy with their lives? I've met no one. With this realization, how do we still do nothing with our days? Every day we do the same thing with our day, and we expect to fulfill dreams? If you're only working for one dream, than I guess it makes sense. But ladies and gentleman, I have way more than simply one dream. I have multiple. And I am absolutely determined to fulfill these. And for this reason, this is why I will not do the same thing every day. I will not simply walk through my days as if I had any to waste. Days are truly precious... How are you going to build a house when you're missing bricks?
You can't.
Wednesday 13 June 2012
My birthday thanks!
This, ladies and gentlemen, will be a very cheesy blog post. If you don't do cheesy, then please exit now. If you're at all interested, then I suggest you keep reading. This post is about me. No philosophy here, just me, myself, and I.
If you know me personally, then you know that today is my birthday. I turned 17 today. Although I'm now a year older, I don't feel older at all. Honestly, I think that I'm only physically 17. I have a body of a 17 year old, but the personality of an adult. In this last year, where apparently I've only aged one year, I feel as though I'm five years older. In this last year, I've learned how to cope with grief, chaos, disappointment, brutal honesty, anger, but also happiness. Although it seems that life slapped me in the face with "bump" after "bump", I am convinced that I not only passed but exceeded. Life, I kicked your ass. With all of the things you tested me with, I strolled through it like it was mist. I ruled you. Okay, I'm getting a little carried away, but today I actually realized how old I feel. I feel as though I'm 25 years old. Sometimes I feel like I have dealt with more than a 25 year old has. Okay, maybe I won't take it that far, but I've definitely dealt with more than an average 17 year old has. I'm not complaining, or pitying myself right now. At all. I'm actually patting myself on the back. I ran through a forest of thorns to come out unscathed. How many people can say they've done that? I'm only left with scars that proves how strong I was. I survived the fight. I won. I'm ready for more to come at me. I have my shield up, and my sword drawn. Come at me bro! ;)
Okay, I'm done with my little pat on the back. Now, I want to thank everyone in my life who helped me. By wiping away the tears, patting me on the back, or slapping me across the face to help me realize what I'm doing. I almost failed... Multiple times, I almost let myself fall, but it's because of you guys that I'm still standing strong. Cheers to you, my family and friends.
Tony Marderosian, my brother- I don't know what I would do without you. With brutal honesty, you've made me realize what type of person I have the potential to be. We relate to each other the most. I love you to death, and I'm so proud of you. For everything you've done. I strive to be as strong as you are. Tony, you've always been my hero. Since I was a little girl.
Daniela Cheney, my mother- I honestly don't even know what to write. You carried me for 9 months, and have mothered me for 17 years now. You've never failed to hug me when everything's chaos around me, and you've never failed to encourage me to pursue my dreams. Without you, I would be nothing. I'm sorry I don't thank you enough, but I hope that this makes up for that. I love you with all of my heart, and I"m so proud that you are going to get a new job. You'll be an amazing hospital administrator. The perfect boss. I love you dearly.
Phil Cheney, my step father- You never fail to make me smile. I know there's been rough times, but I am so happy that we've all been able to pull it together. I'm so thankful that you introduced us to Tualatin, and have welcomed us into your home. I love you dearly.
Elly Tanase, my cousin- My god, what would I do without you? Honestly though. I feel like without you, I would be a totally different person. You and I, are seriously two pees in a pod. You've always been there to give me wonderful advice, and to help me when the going got tough. Thank you, and I love you darling.
Yarden Shnayder, my best friend- You, my friend, are amazing! You are the first person I met when I moved to Tualatin, and you still continue to be so welcoming. Even after three years, you still show me things in Tualatin I had no idea were there. I feel like we educate each other. With you, I am constantly laughing and smiling. I never want you to change. You're so weird and unique, I love it. I am so lucky to have you as a best friend. Not only are you an amazing artist, but the best friend. How awesome is that?! I love you dearly.
Gracey Howard, my best friend- I know we've only recently become close, but I honestly don't know how I ever survived high school without you. We can relate on every topic, and I love how we know what each other is thinking. All the time! You are an amazing listener, and advice giver. Stay just how you are girl! Never feel like you have to change for everyone. Thank you so much for being there for me. Love you darling!
Tiffany Brown, my best friend- Oh my, I could go on forever. Just like the birthday card you gave me, I could seriously write a book about our friendship. All I can say is that I am so lucky to have a best friend that has been there for close to 10 years now. I have never met anyone like you. I just want you to know that I will always be there for you, and I will always be proud of all your accomplishments. I'm so happy that you're happy, and have found a way to cope with all the hard things in life. I love you dearly my friend.
Maddie Plucar, my best friend- My gemini twin, what would I do without you? I've learned so much about myself in the time we've been friends. I have never connected so well with another person before I met you! I love the way I can go to you for anything, and I love the way we are constantly laughing when we're together. I know your birthday is tomorrow, so a special shout out to you. I love you dearly!
Alyssa Walters, my best friend- You have no idea how much I miss you! Ever since you moved to Texas, I've been feeling slightly lost. I'm so happy that you've constructed a whole new happy life down there in the South, and I am so excited to see you soon. I am looking forward to our long talks and adventures. I've gotten to know myself so much ever since we've become friends. You complete me, my dear. I love you, and I don't know what I would do without you and our memories!
Karen Lee, my best friend- First things first, I just want you to know that you give the best advice. It seems like you are always right! Your happiness is contagious, and I love that about you! I am so lucky to have you as a best friend, and I never want you to change! I honestly don't think I've seen you sad. I hope this isn't because you cover it up. Just know that you can always be honest with me, just as I am honest with you. I love you so much!
Derek Vansise- My oh my, would I be a different person without you! You've helped me recognize my faults in order to grow, and for this I thank you. I love how we can share our philosophy, and how we can relate so well. Thank you for always being there for me, and my family as well. You are golden, my friend. I love you dearly!
Wow, that seriously made me tear up. Trying to thank you all in a few short sentences is close to impossible. I just want all of you to know that I am so grateful to have you all in my life. Without you, I would not be Gabriella Meline Marderosian. Not only do I thank you, but I love you. I hope that I am there for you guys as much as you are there for me. Once again, thank you. I love you all!
If you know me personally, then you know that today is my birthday. I turned 17 today. Although I'm now a year older, I don't feel older at all. Honestly, I think that I'm only physically 17. I have a body of a 17 year old, but the personality of an adult. In this last year, where apparently I've only aged one year, I feel as though I'm five years older. In this last year, I've learned how to cope with grief, chaos, disappointment, brutal honesty, anger, but also happiness. Although it seems that life slapped me in the face with "bump" after "bump", I am convinced that I not only passed but exceeded. Life, I kicked your ass. With all of the things you tested me with, I strolled through it like it was mist. I ruled you. Okay, I'm getting a little carried away, but today I actually realized how old I feel. I feel as though I'm 25 years old. Sometimes I feel like I have dealt with more than a 25 year old has. Okay, maybe I won't take it that far, but I've definitely dealt with more than an average 17 year old has. I'm not complaining, or pitying myself right now. At all. I'm actually patting myself on the back. I ran through a forest of thorns to come out unscathed. How many people can say they've done that? I'm only left with scars that proves how strong I was. I survived the fight. I won. I'm ready for more to come at me. I have my shield up, and my sword drawn. Come at me bro! ;)
Okay, I'm done with my little pat on the back. Now, I want to thank everyone in my life who helped me. By wiping away the tears, patting me on the back, or slapping me across the face to help me realize what I'm doing. I almost failed... Multiple times, I almost let myself fall, but it's because of you guys that I'm still standing strong. Cheers to you, my family and friends.
Tony Marderosian, my brother- I don't know what I would do without you. With brutal honesty, you've made me realize what type of person I have the potential to be. We relate to each other the most. I love you to death, and I'm so proud of you. For everything you've done. I strive to be as strong as you are. Tony, you've always been my hero. Since I was a little girl.
Daniela Cheney, my mother- I honestly don't even know what to write. You carried me for 9 months, and have mothered me for 17 years now. You've never failed to hug me when everything's chaos around me, and you've never failed to encourage me to pursue my dreams. Without you, I would be nothing. I'm sorry I don't thank you enough, but I hope that this makes up for that. I love you with all of my heart, and I"m so proud that you are going to get a new job. You'll be an amazing hospital administrator. The perfect boss. I love you dearly.
Phil Cheney, my step father- You never fail to make me smile. I know there's been rough times, but I am so happy that we've all been able to pull it together. I'm so thankful that you introduced us to Tualatin, and have welcomed us into your home. I love you dearly.
Elly Tanase, my cousin- My god, what would I do without you? Honestly though. I feel like without you, I would be a totally different person. You and I, are seriously two pees in a pod. You've always been there to give me wonderful advice, and to help me when the going got tough. Thank you, and I love you darling.
Yarden Shnayder, my best friend- You, my friend, are amazing! You are the first person I met when I moved to Tualatin, and you still continue to be so welcoming. Even after three years, you still show me things in Tualatin I had no idea were there. I feel like we educate each other. With you, I am constantly laughing and smiling. I never want you to change. You're so weird and unique, I love it. I am so lucky to have you as a best friend. Not only are you an amazing artist, but the best friend. How awesome is that?! I love you dearly.
Gracey Howard, my best friend- I know we've only recently become close, but I honestly don't know how I ever survived high school without you. We can relate on every topic, and I love how we know what each other is thinking. All the time! You are an amazing listener, and advice giver. Stay just how you are girl! Never feel like you have to change for everyone. Thank you so much for being there for me. Love you darling!
Tiffany Brown, my best friend- Oh my, I could go on forever. Just like the birthday card you gave me, I could seriously write a book about our friendship. All I can say is that I am so lucky to have a best friend that has been there for close to 10 years now. I have never met anyone like you. I just want you to know that I will always be there for you, and I will always be proud of all your accomplishments. I'm so happy that you're happy, and have found a way to cope with all the hard things in life. I love you dearly my friend.
Maddie Plucar, my best friend- My gemini twin, what would I do without you? I've learned so much about myself in the time we've been friends. I have never connected so well with another person before I met you! I love the way I can go to you for anything, and I love the way we are constantly laughing when we're together. I know your birthday is tomorrow, so a special shout out to you. I love you dearly!
Alyssa Walters, my best friend- You have no idea how much I miss you! Ever since you moved to Texas, I've been feeling slightly lost. I'm so happy that you've constructed a whole new happy life down there in the South, and I am so excited to see you soon. I am looking forward to our long talks and adventures. I've gotten to know myself so much ever since we've become friends. You complete me, my dear. I love you, and I don't know what I would do without you and our memories!
Karen Lee, my best friend- First things first, I just want you to know that you give the best advice. It seems like you are always right! Your happiness is contagious, and I love that about you! I am so lucky to have you as a best friend, and I never want you to change! I honestly don't think I've seen you sad. I hope this isn't because you cover it up. Just know that you can always be honest with me, just as I am honest with you. I love you so much!
Derek Vansise- My oh my, would I be a different person without you! You've helped me recognize my faults in order to grow, and for this I thank you. I love how we can share our philosophy, and how we can relate so well. Thank you for always being there for me, and my family as well. You are golden, my friend. I love you dearly!
Wow, that seriously made me tear up. Trying to thank you all in a few short sentences is close to impossible. I just want all of you to know that I am so grateful to have you all in my life. Without you, I would not be Gabriella Meline Marderosian. Not only do I thank you, but I love you. I hope that I am there for you guys as much as you are there for me. Once again, thank you. I love you all!
Wednesday 2 May 2012
A list of daily annoyances
While attempting to choose a topic to write about besides happiness, perfection and music I sadly came up blank. That means we're in for a list! I know, I know, you probably hate reading my lists but I love making them. And they help me organize my jumbled up thoughts. So, here goes! (Hopefully you'll laugh a little bit)
A list about Gabby's daily annoyances:
Compiled by Gabby Marderosian
-Slow drivers... Must you keep us all behind our schedule by your lack of driving knowledge? GET OFF THE ROAD.
-Critics... I know that sometimes you critique in order to help improve someone or something, but I hate it. I like honest people, but when you point out a fact that is clearly unnecessary, you kill me a little bit inside. Sadly true.
-Loud mufflers on cars... Do you feel empowered when it sounds like your car is dropping a duce in the middle of the road? If you do, well then cheers to you but I will never understand.
-Jerks... Does it make you feel better when you put other people down? Note to jerk: I will bite right back.
-Smart people who act dumb... We all know that you meant to mispronounce a two syllable word in order to gain attention.
-People who just stare... What? Are you interested in the fact that I have two eyes? It really is a phenomenon...
-People who brag... No one cares more than you. SHUT UP.
-People who walk slow in school, grocery stores, anywhere really... Do I have to explain this one?
-Solicitors... I really love your persistence and enthusiasm, but can you explain to me how can I turn you down nicely?
-Pushy people... Don't try to push your opinions on me because I promise you that it won't affect mine.
-Crazy teachers... Really? You expect me to devote my entire weekend to a project that is only worth ten points? Is that what you did on your weekends in high school?
-Deer... Why do your beady eyes seem to be everywhere? Why are you attracted to the freeway at night? Are you suicidal?!
-Negative people... What's the point of endlessly complaining to me about something I can't even change?
-Spitters... EW!
-Burpers... EW!
-Tailgaters... You trying to kiss my ass bro?
-Eavesdroppers... Are your conversations so uninteresting that you have to listen in on mine?
-The radio... No comment.
-People who can't park... Expect a note on your windshield that says "Nice park job" because I always leave one.
Am I the only one who gets annoyed really easily? I hope not...
Goodnight everyone!
-Gabby Marderosian
P.S.
Leave a comment with your annoyances! I'm sure I forgot a few.
A list about Gabby's daily annoyances:
Compiled by Gabby Marderosian
-Slow drivers... Must you keep us all behind our schedule by your lack of driving knowledge? GET OFF THE ROAD.
-Critics... I know that sometimes you critique in order to help improve someone or something, but I hate it. I like honest people, but when you point out a fact that is clearly unnecessary, you kill me a little bit inside. Sadly true.
-Loud mufflers on cars... Do you feel empowered when it sounds like your car is dropping a duce in the middle of the road? If you do, well then cheers to you but I will never understand.
-Jerks... Does it make you feel better when you put other people down? Note to jerk: I will bite right back.
-Smart people who act dumb... We all know that you meant to mispronounce a two syllable word in order to gain attention.
-People who just stare... What? Are you interested in the fact that I have two eyes? It really is a phenomenon...
-People who brag... No one cares more than you. SHUT UP.
-People who walk slow in school, grocery stores, anywhere really... Do I have to explain this one?
-Solicitors... I really love your persistence and enthusiasm, but can you explain to me how can I turn you down nicely?
-Pushy people... Don't try to push your opinions on me because I promise you that it won't affect mine.
-Crazy teachers... Really? You expect me to devote my entire weekend to a project that is only worth ten points? Is that what you did on your weekends in high school?
-Deer... Why do your beady eyes seem to be everywhere? Why are you attracted to the freeway at night? Are you suicidal?!
-Negative people... What's the point of endlessly complaining to me about something I can't even change?
-Spitters... EW!
-Burpers... EW!
-Tailgaters... You trying to kiss my ass bro?
-Eavesdroppers... Are your conversations so uninteresting that you have to listen in on mine?
-The radio... No comment.
-People who can't park... Expect a note on your windshield that says "Nice park job" because I always leave one.
Am I the only one who gets annoyed really easily? I hope not...
Goodnight everyone!
-Gabby Marderosian
P.S.
Leave a comment with your annoyances! I'm sure I forgot a few.
Monday 16 April 2012
Should we search for answers?
As humans, we will seek answers. Why? I have no idea. Think about it. With any mystery we're given, we will do almost anything to solve it. In crime scenes, we usually will do it in order to seek justice from any given character. But really it just causes more pain, expectations and unwillingness. When the family of the victim finds out who caused the murder, usually the pain somehow gets worst. I'm not saying that seeking justice is bad, but when other emotions travel along with that, is it really worth it?
In math, we have imaginary numbers for equations that don't have a logical answer. If it's imaginary, can it really be called an answer? Actually I think it's kind of silly that we invited the imaginary number in the first place. If it doesn't have a logical answer, than can we even use this "imaginary" number? I'm not sure since I'm not a math genius, but why must we always seek an answer? Is there really an answer for absolutely everything in life? No, no, no, no and no!
Can we explain why we cause trouble because we want to? Maybe there's some reason that psychologists have come up with, but is that really true with every single individual? We all were raised differently, have different backgrounds, born in different places, have different views and values, so how can we all be given the same answer? It doesn't make sense. Why must we all seek answers? Usually, before we do something we expect to know the finished product, but why? Because we're usually selfish people who think about our well being rather than someone else's... Gosh, I sound like such a cynic.
Much love to Andrea who read over my messy rough draft in Spanish 3 and insisted I don't change a thing. I did it for you girl, because I definitely wanted to change just about everything!
Night everyone!
P.S. I'm still on the fence about this topic. I think we should unwrap the present, but keep the object intact. Does that make sense? Probably not...
Love,
Gabby Marderosian
In math, we have imaginary numbers for equations that don't have a logical answer. If it's imaginary, can it really be called an answer? Actually I think it's kind of silly that we invited the imaginary number in the first place. If it doesn't have a logical answer, than can we even use this "imaginary" number? I'm not sure since I'm not a math genius, but why must we always seek an answer? Is there really an answer for absolutely everything in life? No, no, no, no and no!
Can we explain why we cause trouble because we want to? Maybe there's some reason that psychologists have come up with, but is that really true with every single individual? We all were raised differently, have different backgrounds, born in different places, have different views and values, so how can we all be given the same answer? It doesn't make sense. Why must we all seek answers? Usually, before we do something we expect to know the finished product, but why? Because we're usually selfish people who think about our well being rather than someone else's... Gosh, I sound like such a cynic.
Much love to Andrea who read over my messy rough draft in Spanish 3 and insisted I don't change a thing. I did it for you girl, because I definitely wanted to change just about everything!
Night everyone!
P.S. I'm still on the fence about this topic. I think we should unwrap the present, but keep the object intact. Does that make sense? Probably not...
Love,
Gabby Marderosian
Monday 9 April 2012
Sweetie, let your hair down
I'm going to be honest with you. I really really really want to be philosophical and deep tonight, but it's just not happening. My thoughts are so scattered right now, I can't focus on one single topic. This happens to me a lot, but tonight it's just too much. I start thinking about happiness, and than my thoughts stray to dogs and Baja Blast. Maybe I have ADD... Okay, see, right there! I can't even focus. Anyway...
The point of this blog is a little reminder. I'm reminding you to let go a little bit. My last blog post that I posted last night was talking about how we take life too seriously, and how we strive for perfection when we should simply strive for happiness. Tonight's post will be very similar. I'm just here to tell you to LET GO! Let your hair down and smile. Instead of doing daily motions without thinking, add a little twist to help remind yourself that you can make anything fun. For example, when I was about to get into the shower, I turned on Work Out by J. Cole and had an awesome dance party all by myself. I gotta admit, that was the highlight of my day. This also relates to how the simplicities of life that no one really thinks about are so amazing.
Whenever I get into my car, the first thing I do is open my sunroof if it's not raining. I just love feeling the fresh air and sun all around me. Anyway... it's the simple things in life that build up to the bigger things. One brick might not look like much, but once you put a bunch of them together you have a brick wall! (That probably wasn't the best analogy because building walls aren't always good but you get the point...) I just think that we need to let our hair down sometimes. Have fun!
Did I succeed? Are you going to laugh a little louder because you feel like? DO IT! Seriously!
Night everyone!
P.S.
Can you tell I'm in a really good mood?
--Gabby
P.P.S
LISTEN TO THESE SONGS IF YOU'RE TRYING TO HAVE A DANCE PARTY ;):
Work Out by J. Cole
Overnight Celebrity by Twista
Overtime by Tech N9ne
Make A Movie by Twista and Chris Brown
Change Clothes by Jay Z
Here I Am by Rick Ross
The point of this blog is a little reminder. I'm reminding you to let go a little bit. My last blog post that I posted last night was talking about how we take life too seriously, and how we strive for perfection when we should simply strive for happiness. Tonight's post will be very similar. I'm just here to tell you to LET GO! Let your hair down and smile. Instead of doing daily motions without thinking, add a little twist to help remind yourself that you can make anything fun. For example, when I was about to get into the shower, I turned on Work Out by J. Cole and had an awesome dance party all by myself. I gotta admit, that was the highlight of my day. This also relates to how the simplicities of life that no one really thinks about are so amazing.
Whenever I get into my car, the first thing I do is open my sunroof if it's not raining. I just love feeling the fresh air and sun all around me. Anyway... it's the simple things in life that build up to the bigger things. One brick might not look like much, but once you put a bunch of them together you have a brick wall! (That probably wasn't the best analogy because building walls aren't always good but you get the point...) I just think that we need to let our hair down sometimes. Have fun!
Did I succeed? Are you going to laugh a little louder because you feel like? DO IT! Seriously!
Night everyone!
P.S.
Can you tell I'm in a really good mood?
--Gabby
P.P.S
LISTEN TO THESE SONGS IF YOU'RE TRYING TO HAVE A DANCE PARTY ;):
Work Out by J. Cole
Overnight Celebrity by Twista
Overtime by Tech N9ne
Make A Movie by Twista and Chris Brown
Change Clothes by Jay Z
Here I Am by Rick Ross
Sunday 8 April 2012
A perfect life isn't as fun as you'd think
Yay! Woohoo! Yippee! Now, I bet you're wondering why I am so excited... Well, my blog officially received it's 500th view on April 3rd! I know it's probably not a lot compared to some celebrity or even another regular blogger, but it's so exciting for me. I only have about four followers yet 504 views. That just tells me that people from Facebook actually read my blog when I share the link and that makes me so freakin' happy! Now I feel like I might be talking to a few people rather than a computer screen. Anyway... I just wanted to make you guys aware that I'm very grateful that you read my blog!
Now, to get down to business...
My blog is named "Just a girl with dreams"... So why don't I write about dreams more often? I don't mean the dreams you have when you sleep, but the ones you think about during the day. Better worded as aspirations. I think the only thing I can say about people and their dreams is that people need to follow them more often. The thing that amazes me is the way people take life WAY too seriously. Honestly. We have limited time here, so why are you so focused on making it perfect? What's so great about living a perfect life? Is it fun to drive on a straight road going the same slow speed limit? Absolutely not. Take risks. Go a little faster than you're supposed to. Take a right turn even though you don't know where it leads. Don't we all simply live to die anyway? Might as well enjoy the time we have, since tomorrow isn't even guaranteed.
Now back to dreams... The only reason people don't follow their dreams is fear. Fear of not succeeding... Fear of letting down someone else's expectations... Fear of having to really work for it... Fear of going through difficulties. Basically, we're just scared of things we can't predict. But really, it's so silly. Can we predict when there's going to be a car collision on the way to work that slows us down? No... Can we predict a bad day? No... We can't predict everything. Now, if we can't predict, and we don't even have guaranteed time, why aren't we living our dreams? I will never understand why people let difficulties get in their way. Stop pitying yourselves and figure out a way to pave your own future. You have to take control.
I never thought I would do this, but Lil Wayne very cleverly took the words right out of my mouth when he said "No one gives you chances, you gotta take chances". Cheers to you Lil Wayne.
Goodnight and have sweet dreams everyone! And tomorrow, try to take a few risks. By the end of the day, you'll probably be more happy with your life.
Now, to get down to business...
My blog is named "Just a girl with dreams"... So why don't I write about dreams more often? I don't mean the dreams you have when you sleep, but the ones you think about during the day. Better worded as aspirations. I think the only thing I can say about people and their dreams is that people need to follow them more often. The thing that amazes me is the way people take life WAY too seriously. Honestly. We have limited time here, so why are you so focused on making it perfect? What's so great about living a perfect life? Is it fun to drive on a straight road going the same slow speed limit? Absolutely not. Take risks. Go a little faster than you're supposed to. Take a right turn even though you don't know where it leads. Don't we all simply live to die anyway? Might as well enjoy the time we have, since tomorrow isn't even guaranteed.
Now back to dreams... The only reason people don't follow their dreams is fear. Fear of not succeeding... Fear of letting down someone else's expectations... Fear of having to really work for it... Fear of going through difficulties. Basically, we're just scared of things we can't predict. But really, it's so silly. Can we predict when there's going to be a car collision on the way to work that slows us down? No... Can we predict a bad day? No... We can't predict everything. Now, if we can't predict, and we don't even have guaranteed time, why aren't we living our dreams? I will never understand why people let difficulties get in their way. Stop pitying yourselves and figure out a way to pave your own future. You have to take control.
I never thought I would do this, but Lil Wayne very cleverly took the words right out of my mouth when he said "No one gives you chances, you gotta take chances". Cheers to you Lil Wayne.
Goodnight and have sweet dreams everyone! And tomorrow, try to take a few risks. By the end of the day, you'll probably be more happy with your life.
Monday 2 April 2012
Lucky to live
Tonight, I realized how amazing life really is. Even when everything is going horribly wrong and you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel, you just gotta stop for a second and breathe. Smell the fresh air. If you're too exhausted to involve yourself, sit back and watch life happen. But don't get carried away! Learn to balance your life between being actively involved and being an observer. You really get to live the best of both worlds then.
If you're still not convinced, just think about the oxygen running through your lungs and the blood running through your veins. Sweetie, we are so lucky to experience life. Let's just enjoy it!
Goodnight everyone and have sweet dreams.
Saturday 31 March 2012
Striving or Denying?
Imagine standing in a room surrounded by mirrors. No walls showing, just mirrors. What do you see? Probably yourself in multiple perspectives. You see the back of your shoes, the top of your nose, your elbows, your smile... You are surrounded by yourself. Sometimes we want to see one thing about ourselves, but not the other. Maybe I like to see my eyes but not my backside. Maybe I like to see my shoulder blades but not my toes. Naturally our eyes are going to stray towards the things we like. We see what we want to see.
Now with this evidence, let's apply this to our lives. In everyday life, we see multiple things. We witness our friends and family make the wrong decision. We live through our own decisions that were most likely affected by someone else's judgements. But are we going to admit that little detail? Probably not. Folks, it's important to remember that we see what we want to see. We do what we want to do. We live the life we want to live.
Think about what every single child wants while their growing up. I'm sure every child lived their own life in their own environment, but aren't we all striving for one thing? Some would say candy. Some would say to grow up. Some would say a lifetime supply of toys. Everyone wants something different, but don't all of our wishes overlap when people wish for something better? Isn't every wish just categorized under this broad want? Something better? Depending on who you asked, their answer would of what's better would most likely be different.
Let's just act as if this was an interview and ask the mind boggling question "What would you want, if you were simply striving for something better?"
Ask a child and they would most likely reply with something along the lines of "Better toys..."
Ask an older person and they would probably say "To live my life over again... or, more time..."
Ask a dying patient and they would say "To live"
Ask a homeless person and they would say "A home"
Now this all sounds pretty reasonable right? Well what happens when these wishes start to compromise someone else's wishes? What happens when someone's fortunes take away from someone else's? What happens when everything in life results in more demand than their is supply? I sure don't have an answer to that...
Right now the questions that arises is "Where did the balance go?" Our entire lives we learned that there will always be another side to the scale. With a 1, there will be -1. With a right winged government, there will be a left winged government. With good grammar, there will be bad grammar. With the rich, there will be the poor. With life, there will be death. It seems so simple... But is it really?
No. Not at all.
If we wanted an example, we can look at ourselves as individual human beings. I'll use myself as an example. Growing up I always wanted to live in a house. Now that I live in a house, I miss living in apartments with the tight knit relationships. Now that I'm 16, I only want to be older. When I was younger, all I wanted was to be 16! These may seem like insignificant details about my life, but really they all come into play. Is it acceptable to say that we always want something more? I think it is.
Now don't get me wrong. I never said that was a bad thing, but I never said it was a good thing either. We live our lives full of contradictions every single day, so let's analyze this one. Although it's very fulfilling if you strive for a happier life, is it good to strive only for more money? In my opinion, definitely not. I know some people's definition of a happier life has something to do with money, but mine sure doesn't. I am happy living my life as a middle class citizen. Although I do love going shopping and buying things, I love the feeling of working for that money... Even if it's getting my hands greasy at McDonald's. Before I had a job, I loved being able to do simple things that brought me joy. A simple walk to the local grocery store was fulfilling enough for me, but now that I have the availability of money, education and transportation, all of that changes. Although I still love the simple things in life, I do love striving for something bigger. I want to know that I am actually doing something with the things I've learned. In my life, I learned to do what makes me happy. If that means being an elementary teacher who gets talked down to and gets paid far less than deserved but still has the happiness of spreading joy, that I'd take it in a heartbeat. Once again, is it acceptable to say that some people highly disagree with me? For some people being rich is much more fulfilling. Although I highly disagree with that, it's most likely because I didn't grow up in a very rich environment. I grew up with a comfortable salary that kept me right in the middle of the scale. I was balancing between rich and poor, and it felt great.
Of course people's opinions are different, but here are my lost words. Is wanting something better truly fulfilling, or not? It's as simple as that. Apply that question to your own life before you go to bed, and if you can't answer it than that should be the loudest answer of all. Goodnight all!
P.S. Sorry about the confusing posts. My thoughts were all over the place tonight!
Now with this evidence, let's apply this to our lives. In everyday life, we see multiple things. We witness our friends and family make the wrong decision. We live through our own decisions that were most likely affected by someone else's judgements. But are we going to admit that little detail? Probably not. Folks, it's important to remember that we see what we want to see. We do what we want to do. We live the life we want to live.
Think about what every single child wants while their growing up. I'm sure every child lived their own life in their own environment, but aren't we all striving for one thing? Some would say candy. Some would say to grow up. Some would say a lifetime supply of toys. Everyone wants something different, but don't all of our wishes overlap when people wish for something better? Isn't every wish just categorized under this broad want? Something better? Depending on who you asked, their answer would of what's better would most likely be different.
Let's just act as if this was an interview and ask the mind boggling question "What would you want, if you were simply striving for something better?"
Ask a child and they would most likely reply with something along the lines of "Better toys..."
Ask an older person and they would probably say "To live my life over again... or, more time..."
Ask a dying patient and they would say "To live"
Ask a homeless person and they would say "A home"
Now this all sounds pretty reasonable right? Well what happens when these wishes start to compromise someone else's wishes? What happens when someone's fortunes take away from someone else's? What happens when everything in life results in more demand than their is supply? I sure don't have an answer to that...
Right now the questions that arises is "Where did the balance go?" Our entire lives we learned that there will always be another side to the scale. With a 1, there will be -1. With a right winged government, there will be a left winged government. With good grammar, there will be bad grammar. With the rich, there will be the poor. With life, there will be death. It seems so simple... But is it really?
No. Not at all.
If we wanted an example, we can look at ourselves as individual human beings. I'll use myself as an example. Growing up I always wanted to live in a house. Now that I live in a house, I miss living in apartments with the tight knit relationships. Now that I'm 16, I only want to be older. When I was younger, all I wanted was to be 16! These may seem like insignificant details about my life, but really they all come into play. Is it acceptable to say that we always want something more? I think it is.
Now don't get me wrong. I never said that was a bad thing, but I never said it was a good thing either. We live our lives full of contradictions every single day, so let's analyze this one. Although it's very fulfilling if you strive for a happier life, is it good to strive only for more money? In my opinion, definitely not. I know some people's definition of a happier life has something to do with money, but mine sure doesn't. I am happy living my life as a middle class citizen. Although I do love going shopping and buying things, I love the feeling of working for that money... Even if it's getting my hands greasy at McDonald's. Before I had a job, I loved being able to do simple things that brought me joy. A simple walk to the local grocery store was fulfilling enough for me, but now that I have the availability of money, education and transportation, all of that changes. Although I still love the simple things in life, I do love striving for something bigger. I want to know that I am actually doing something with the things I've learned. In my life, I learned to do what makes me happy. If that means being an elementary teacher who gets talked down to and gets paid far less than deserved but still has the happiness of spreading joy, that I'd take it in a heartbeat. Once again, is it acceptable to say that some people highly disagree with me? For some people being rich is much more fulfilling. Although I highly disagree with that, it's most likely because I didn't grow up in a very rich environment. I grew up with a comfortable salary that kept me right in the middle of the scale. I was balancing between rich and poor, and it felt great.
Of course people's opinions are different, but here are my lost words. Is wanting something better truly fulfilling, or not? It's as simple as that. Apply that question to your own life before you go to bed, and if you can't answer it than that should be the loudest answer of all. Goodnight all!
P.S. Sorry about the confusing posts. My thoughts were all over the place tonight!
Tuesday 27 March 2012
Dear 28 year old me,
After being so inspired by Kate's blog, I decided to write a letter to my 28 year old self. I'm warning you now that I have so many questions to ask myself, so don't hesitate to click the exit key. I won't mind. This blog post is more about myself anyway. But, I encourage you to write one of your own. It helped me remember what was important to me.
Here goes!
Dear 28 year old me,
Are you living in Chicago, or did you choose New York? Did you end up going to Portland State University for your bachelors in English and than moved on to New York University to receive your masters in Publishing?
Are you totally indecisive like you were when you were 16?
Do you still have great difficulty refusing dessert? Are you still addicted to sugar like you have been all your life?
Do you still get teased for being short, or have you actually grown?
Are you happy? Do you consider yourself successful? If not, make a change.
Did you buy a Mustang yet, or are you car-less since you're living in some big city? Are you okay with that?
Are you having regrets moving away from Portland like you always assumed you would? Have you gone back to visit Portland yet? You better have, or else do it now. Book a flight!
Have you traveled to Greece yet?
Do you have a tattoo of the Gemini sign yet? I'm assuming so...
Do you still have your nose piercing in? I never did think you would ever get used to it...
Are you still in love with the sun? Why did I even ask that, because I know that will never change.
Are you still sensitive?
How's the WPW syndrome? I hope it hasn't bothered you too much...
What's society like? Have you learned to live your life without societal pressures?
Do you still read whenever you have free time?
Have you gotten over the excitement of freedom and indepedence, or have you totally forgotten to appreciate it?
Do you still have Max? He'd be 12... If not, was it hard losing him and Chester?
Have you gotten new dogs to replace them? That's so sad to think about.
Do you still have L.A, your turtle? Are you still mistreating her? I know I'm still having issues keeping up with feeding her even after 5 years of having her...
How's Dad? Has he gotten help yet?
How's Mom? I bet she's working in some big hospital. Tell her I love her!
How's Phil? Still crackin' jokes that no one understands?
How's Grandma? I really hope she's still healthy and in our lives.
How's Grandma Vickie and Grandpa? Have you gone to Romania yet to visit them?
How's Tony? Is he still reppin' Rip City proudy?
How's Elly? Did you guys end up roomin' together in Chicago?
How's Carmen? Has she re-married yet?
How's Vali and the family in Romania? If you don't know, than you should really find out.
Do you still close your eyes when you listen to a really good song? Is your laugh still a cackle? If not, I'd be thoroughly shocked.
Do you still blog?
Have you gotten a book published yet?
Have you even finished a novel? If so, I'm proud.
Have you fallen in love yet? If not, open your heart and soul. I know how much we always struggled with that.
Have you discovered the meaning of life? Hahaha, that's a pointless question to ask... I know we never will.
Do you have regrets? If you do, let go of them. Just remember that the past is the past.
Are you still in contact with Maddie, Yarden, Karen, Alyssa, Britney, Tiffany and Gracey?
Are you married? That's such an odd scenario to imagine.
Are you suddenly a cat lover?
Do you still sleep crooked?
Do you still have that A to ZEN of life poster that you used to stare at multiple times a day when you were 16?
Have you thought about moving to California again? I always did dream of California...
Have you done anything really big with your life?
Have you saved a life?
Have you gone ziplining through a forest like you've always wanted to?
Have you learned to cook yet? Please tell me you're not living off of Mac 'n' Cheese and Eggo waffles!
Please tell me you've gone to visit Nana, Lori and Lindell in California.
Do you still have your pearl ring that Grandma gave me? Do you still wear it every single day? How about the ring from Dad? And the pearl necklace from Mom... If you lost any of them than I'm so disappointed. Those always meant so much to me.
Have you gotten over your silly fear of eye drops? I doubt it...
Do you still pick off your nailpolish and pick at your lips when you're stressed or nervous? I seriously hope not...
Is your right ankle still sensitive and rolled easily?
Are you still really clumsy?
Have you made memories and stuffed them all in a scrapbook like I always attempted to do but would never finish?
Do you still question everything?
Are you still obsessed with making lists?
You're still stubborn, aren't you?
Has your view on religion changed?
Please tell me you're happy. If not, then do something to help both of us.
I bet you that you have questions for your 40 year old self. My mind spins if I even try to imagine myself ever reaching that age. If you're really curious and bored than you should write a letter.
And once again, open your heart and soul to change girl. And I'm sorry if something I've done now affected us negatively and has impacted your lifestyle. Let's just try to make the most of it.
Love, 16 year old me. <3
Sorry about the long blog post. You're probably not as enthralled as you thought you would be. Maybe next time. Have a good Spring Break everybody!
Here goes!
Dear 28 year old me,
Are you living in Chicago, or did you choose New York? Did you end up going to Portland State University for your bachelors in English and than moved on to New York University to receive your masters in Publishing?
Are you totally indecisive like you were when you were 16?
Do you still have great difficulty refusing dessert? Are you still addicted to sugar like you have been all your life?
Do you still get teased for being short, or have you actually grown?
Are you happy? Do you consider yourself successful? If not, make a change.
Did you buy a Mustang yet, or are you car-less since you're living in some big city? Are you okay with that?
Are you having regrets moving away from Portland like you always assumed you would? Have you gone back to visit Portland yet? You better have, or else do it now. Book a flight!
Have you traveled to Greece yet?
Do you have a tattoo of the Gemini sign yet? I'm assuming so...
Do you still have your nose piercing in? I never did think you would ever get used to it...
Are you still in love with the sun? Why did I even ask that, because I know that will never change.
Are you still sensitive?
How's the WPW syndrome? I hope it hasn't bothered you too much...
What's society like? Have you learned to live your life without societal pressures?
Do you still read whenever you have free time?
Have you gotten over the excitement of freedom and indepedence, or have you totally forgotten to appreciate it?
Do you still have Max? He'd be 12... If not, was it hard losing him and Chester?
Have you gotten new dogs to replace them? That's so sad to think about.
Do you still have L.A, your turtle? Are you still mistreating her? I know I'm still having issues keeping up with feeding her even after 5 years of having her...
How's Dad? Has he gotten help yet?
How's Mom? I bet she's working in some big hospital. Tell her I love her!
How's Phil? Still crackin' jokes that no one understands?
How's Grandma? I really hope she's still healthy and in our lives.
How's Grandma Vickie and Grandpa? Have you gone to Romania yet to visit them?
How's Tony? Is he still reppin' Rip City proudy?
How's Elly? Did you guys end up roomin' together in Chicago?
How's Carmen? Has she re-married yet?
How's Vali and the family in Romania? If you don't know, than you should really find out.
Do you still close your eyes when you listen to a really good song? Is your laugh still a cackle? If not, I'd be thoroughly shocked.
Do you still blog?
Have you gotten a book published yet?
Have you even finished a novel? If so, I'm proud.
Have you fallen in love yet? If not, open your heart and soul. I know how much we always struggled with that.
Have you discovered the meaning of life? Hahaha, that's a pointless question to ask... I know we never will.
Do you have regrets? If you do, let go of them. Just remember that the past is the past.
Are you still in contact with Maddie, Yarden, Karen, Alyssa, Britney, Tiffany and Gracey?
Are you married? That's such an odd scenario to imagine.
Are you suddenly a cat lover?
Do you still sleep crooked?
Do you still have that A to ZEN of life poster that you used to stare at multiple times a day when you were 16?
Have you thought about moving to California again? I always did dream of California...
Have you done anything really big with your life?
Have you saved a life?
Have you gone ziplining through a forest like you've always wanted to?
Have you learned to cook yet? Please tell me you're not living off of Mac 'n' Cheese and Eggo waffles!
Please tell me you've gone to visit Nana, Lori and Lindell in California.
Do you still have your pearl ring that Grandma gave me? Do you still wear it every single day? How about the ring from Dad? And the pearl necklace from Mom... If you lost any of them than I'm so disappointed. Those always meant so much to me.
Have you gotten over your silly fear of eye drops? I doubt it...
Do you still pick off your nailpolish and pick at your lips when you're stressed or nervous? I seriously hope not...
Is your right ankle still sensitive and rolled easily?
Are you still really clumsy?
Have you made memories and stuffed them all in a scrapbook like I always attempted to do but would never finish?
Do you still question everything?
Are you still obsessed with making lists?
You're still stubborn, aren't you?
Has your view on religion changed?
Please tell me you're happy. If not, then do something to help both of us.
I bet you that you have questions for your 40 year old self. My mind spins if I even try to imagine myself ever reaching that age. If you're really curious and bored than you should write a letter.
And once again, open your heart and soul to change girl. And I'm sorry if something I've done now affected us negatively and has impacted your lifestyle. Let's just try to make the most of it.
Love, 16 year old me. <3
Sorry about the long blog post. You're probably not as enthralled as you thought you would be. Maybe next time. Have a good Spring Break everybody!
Sunday 11 March 2012
We create our own masterpieces
Okay, I'm just going to begin by saying this may sound absolutely and totally bizarre, but this is my theory. It's closely related to religion, but not really. Does that make sense? Probably not. Hopefully it will by the end of this blog post.
Now, I want you to open up a new tab and go to youtube.com. Now, I want you to play your favorite video. It can be your favorite song (I'm currently playing Dreamland by Andy Allo and Blu), it can be your favorite funny video, it can be your favorite inspirational video, it can be your favorite blogger, it can be anything. Now, after you've watched it, I want you to think about why it's your favorite video. Don't try to simply say because it's funny, or because the song has a good beat... Try to dig deeper (I know you've all practiced this in English). Well, the reason I chose to listen to Dreamland, was because I can relate to it. Although the songwriter/singer might have had a different thought or purpose when she wrote it, whenever I listen to it, I begin to think about how much of a dreamer I am. I'm sure you all know this if you're a regular reader or know we well, but it just allows me to smile, sing along, and realize how content it makes me. So now that you've thought about why you love that certain video, let's move on to the reason I made you do this...
My theory in the simplest words relates to how our life turns out. Personally I'm not religious, but I still think about how I ended up with this life. Basically, I think that we're all given a scenario and a box of tools, and we choose how to build our life. Sometimes people don't realize that we construct our own life. That box of tools that we're given is our traits that we've developed in order to deal with certain situations that happen to us. Some people naturally have more will power or optimism or other traits than other people. Now, the key thing to remember is naturally.
Now, the reason I'm emphasizing the word naturally is because anyone can develop these traits. I know that I've always been stubborn yet sensitive. Some people aren't like that at all. And let me just say I hate being as sensitive as I am, but I have begun to look at it in a new light. Since I am so sensitive, I get hurt really often, but I also am able to be really passionate about other things. Notice how I changed what I thought was a negative trait into a positive one. This is something everyone should learn to do!
Okay, I got off topic from my theory... Basically what I'm trying to say is that we are given a box full of paint brushes and paint, and we decide how to paint our own picture. In my case, I think I was given a notepad of paper and a pen, and now I'm writing my own story. We choose how to live our life. Now the question that arises is, "what about destiny or fate"? Well I'm not sure. I do believe in fate and destiny, but I haven't figured out a way to tie this into my theory. The closest I've gotten to relating it to my theory is that; we choose to live by that destiny, or to not live by it. Some people may naturally be born into less fortunate families, and sometimes that sets those people back but that doesn't mean that they can't do something in order to be more fortunate. Although they usually have to work harder to go to college, or to relocate, it doesn't mean it's impossible.
So, once again, we paint our own picture. Or we write our own story. Or we compose our own song. Or we direct our own movie. It depends on the person, and what they want or wish to do.
If you weren't sure what videos to watch or listen to, here's a few of my favorites;
Favorite songs:
Mario "Crying Our For Me" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kn3AH2yn5Yc&ob=av2n,
Andy Allo and Blue "Dreamland" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2xVsU3zU3TQ
Tech N9ne "Overtime" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KXn7mh0OO7o
Atmosphere "Sunshine" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RvY38j7JdCk
J. Cole "Lights Please" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-dyPeGDeS3o
Alicia Keys "A Woman's Worth" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JtMUIwOE2ss&ob=av2e
Favorite funny videos:
Jenna Marbles http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0i_5YBnQdac
Kevin Hart http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lNgOkl5KqRY
Kevin Hart http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C8CWP_uDItE
Favorite inspirational:
"The Girl Who Silenced The World for 5 Minutes" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TQmz6Rbpnu0
"Pretty" (Poetry slam) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M6wJl37N9C0
Now, I want you to open up a new tab and go to youtube.com. Now, I want you to play your favorite video. It can be your favorite song (I'm currently playing Dreamland by Andy Allo and Blu), it can be your favorite funny video, it can be your favorite inspirational video, it can be your favorite blogger, it can be anything. Now, after you've watched it, I want you to think about why it's your favorite video. Don't try to simply say because it's funny, or because the song has a good beat... Try to dig deeper (I know you've all practiced this in English). Well, the reason I chose to listen to Dreamland, was because I can relate to it. Although the songwriter/singer might have had a different thought or purpose when she wrote it, whenever I listen to it, I begin to think about how much of a dreamer I am. I'm sure you all know this if you're a regular reader or know we well, but it just allows me to smile, sing along, and realize how content it makes me. So now that you've thought about why you love that certain video, let's move on to the reason I made you do this...
My theory in the simplest words relates to how our life turns out. Personally I'm not religious, but I still think about how I ended up with this life. Basically, I think that we're all given a scenario and a box of tools, and we choose how to build our life. Sometimes people don't realize that we construct our own life. That box of tools that we're given is our traits that we've developed in order to deal with certain situations that happen to us. Some people naturally have more will power or optimism or other traits than other people. Now, the key thing to remember is naturally.
Now, the reason I'm emphasizing the word naturally is because anyone can develop these traits. I know that I've always been stubborn yet sensitive. Some people aren't like that at all. And let me just say I hate being as sensitive as I am, but I have begun to look at it in a new light. Since I am so sensitive, I get hurt really often, but I also am able to be really passionate about other things. Notice how I changed what I thought was a negative trait into a positive one. This is something everyone should learn to do!
Okay, I got off topic from my theory... Basically what I'm trying to say is that we are given a box full of paint brushes and paint, and we decide how to paint our own picture. In my case, I think I was given a notepad of paper and a pen, and now I'm writing my own story. We choose how to live our life. Now the question that arises is, "what about destiny or fate"? Well I'm not sure. I do believe in fate and destiny, but I haven't figured out a way to tie this into my theory. The closest I've gotten to relating it to my theory is that; we choose to live by that destiny, or to not live by it. Some people may naturally be born into less fortunate families, and sometimes that sets those people back but that doesn't mean that they can't do something in order to be more fortunate. Although they usually have to work harder to go to college, or to relocate, it doesn't mean it's impossible.
So, once again, we paint our own picture. Or we write our own story. Or we compose our own song. Or we direct our own movie. It depends on the person, and what they want or wish to do.
If you weren't sure what videos to watch or listen to, here's a few of my favorites;
Favorite songs:
Mario "Crying Our For Me" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kn3AH2yn5Yc&ob=av2n,
Andy Allo and Blue "Dreamland" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2xVsU3zU3TQ
Tech N9ne "Overtime" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KXn7mh0OO7o
Atmosphere "Sunshine" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RvY38j7JdCk
J. Cole "Lights Please" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-dyPeGDeS3o
Alicia Keys "A Woman's Worth" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JtMUIwOE2ss&ob=av2e
Favorite funny videos:
Jenna Marbles http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0i_5YBnQdac
Kevin Hart http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lNgOkl5KqRY
Kevin Hart http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C8CWP_uDItE
Favorite inspirational:
"The Girl Who Silenced The World for 5 Minutes" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TQmz6Rbpnu0
"Pretty" (Poetry slam) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M6wJl37N9C0
Monday 5 March 2012
Does society power us, or do we power it?
As a society, we've got it totally wrong. Why am I starting my post with this? Because I have a lot to say that's built up over the years. As I've grown up, I've begun to realize the realities of our lives. Every single individuals life may different, but aren't we all living on the same earth, sometimes in the same city? In school, I've learned that there are huge differences between lesser economically developed countries and more economically developed countries, so I'm just going to speak for the United States, since that's where I've grown up my entire life. Remember, this is an opinionated post. Go ahead, comment on it and let me know your own opinion but please do not just bash on mine. Let's keep it sophisticated. Anyway, I wanna start with the media.
The power media has on us blows my mind. Just by hearing a song, or watching a TV show or even reading a newspaper we can morphe our own beliefs to fit the mold society has built. How this mold was built, I have no idea. These shows on television are so ridiculously fake I can't even allow myself to watch them because I feel literally brain dead for a few hours. No offence Snooki, but I really don't want to watch you and your 30 year old friends live the life of a teenager... To me, it's sad because it seems like we're moving backwards! Instead of growing up and maturing quicker, we're learning that it's okay to get drunk every single night and than wake up thirteen hours later ready to do it again. While our schools are attempting to help us become independent, media seems to throw that idea right out of the window. Don't get me wrong, I love a good movie once in a while but sometimes I just have to shake my head at the lengths society or our government will go to in order for us to change our own opinions.
Another thing I find ridiculous about our society is our lack of strength. I don't mean physically, but spiritually. I'm actually not sure if spiritually is the right word since I'm not referring to faith, but let's just roll with it for a second. Let's do a little exercise. Think back to the last time someone said anything negative. It could have been a sentance as simple as "I hate butter on my toast," to "I hate my life and I'm so tired of everyone." Now think about how many times you hear something like this on a daily basis... I'm pretty sure the number would be in the double or triple digits based on the kind of people you surround yourself with. Now, think of how many times you say it. You can be the most positive person around, but don't kid yourself... You do it too. Now, there's not a whole lot wrong with a little complaint once in a while but what I'm talking about is the things some people say. As human beings, we have the ability to morph our own attitude to fit the kind of life we want to live. Some people don't understand this concept. It's so easy to get carried away by complaining and not acting on those complaints because we think it makes us feel better. This negativity is just like alcohol. Although I can't speak for an addict, from what I've seen, they use the drug in order to feel better in any sort of way. Complaining, acting negative, moping, being mean, it's all a sort of drug. We do it to make ourselves feel better. How something like this can make someone feel better still shocks me, but it happens... temporarily. When all those negative thoughts begin to build up, it starts to have a toll on us mentally, emotionally and physically. So with everything I've just said, I think it's safe to say we are a weak society. But instead of moping around about how we act, let's try to change ourselves. It may seem like the solution is trying to fix society, but aren't we the base of society? It may seem that corporations and government rule these things, but it all starts with the people. So, change your own ways and than spread the word. Maybe if we all change one little aspect of our life, it can change a huge part of our future generations society.
The power media has on us blows my mind. Just by hearing a song, or watching a TV show or even reading a newspaper we can morphe our own beliefs to fit the mold society has built. How this mold was built, I have no idea. These shows on television are so ridiculously fake I can't even allow myself to watch them because I feel literally brain dead for a few hours. No offence Snooki, but I really don't want to watch you and your 30 year old friends live the life of a teenager... To me, it's sad because it seems like we're moving backwards! Instead of growing up and maturing quicker, we're learning that it's okay to get drunk every single night and than wake up thirteen hours later ready to do it again. While our schools are attempting to help us become independent, media seems to throw that idea right out of the window. Don't get me wrong, I love a good movie once in a while but sometimes I just have to shake my head at the lengths society or our government will go to in order for us to change our own opinions.
Another thing I find ridiculous about our society is our lack of strength. I don't mean physically, but spiritually. I'm actually not sure if spiritually is the right word since I'm not referring to faith, but let's just roll with it for a second. Let's do a little exercise. Think back to the last time someone said anything negative. It could have been a sentance as simple as "I hate butter on my toast," to "I hate my life and I'm so tired of everyone." Now think about how many times you hear something like this on a daily basis... I'm pretty sure the number would be in the double or triple digits based on the kind of people you surround yourself with. Now, think of how many times you say it. You can be the most positive person around, but don't kid yourself... You do it too. Now, there's not a whole lot wrong with a little complaint once in a while but what I'm talking about is the things some people say. As human beings, we have the ability to morph our own attitude to fit the kind of life we want to live. Some people don't understand this concept. It's so easy to get carried away by complaining and not acting on those complaints because we think it makes us feel better. This negativity is just like alcohol. Although I can't speak for an addict, from what I've seen, they use the drug in order to feel better in any sort of way. Complaining, acting negative, moping, being mean, it's all a sort of drug. We do it to make ourselves feel better. How something like this can make someone feel better still shocks me, but it happens... temporarily. When all those negative thoughts begin to build up, it starts to have a toll on us mentally, emotionally and physically. So with everything I've just said, I think it's safe to say we are a weak society. But instead of moping around about how we act, let's try to change ourselves. It may seem like the solution is trying to fix society, but aren't we the base of society? It may seem that corporations and government rule these things, but it all starts with the people. So, change your own ways and than spread the word. Maybe if we all change one little aspect of our life, it can change a huge part of our future generations society.
Thursday 1 March 2012
Oh, hi there.
My oh my it's been a while. I owe you (whoever reads my blog) an apology. I'm not gonna lie... I got caught up and totally forgot about my blog. Occasionally I'd think "Hmm, I should write about that" whenever I thought of something insightful or thought provoking (I sound like my English teacher), but I never got the chance to. But there's an up side to this whole forgetting fiasco... I have SO much I need to express!
First and foremost, I want to say Happy New Year! In my "About Me" section, it mentions that I am a Gemini... Well that's really important to me and is a big part of my life. Gemini's are mostly known for being "double-sided" since we're The Twins. Well, that's totally and 100 per cent true. So far, this year has had it's major up's and it's major down's. As of right now, I don't know where this year is going to take me, so I'm going to just let my hair down and let the wind speak to me.
First and foremost, I want to say Happy New Year! In my "About Me" section, it mentions that I am a Gemini... Well that's really important to me and is a big part of my life. Gemini's are mostly known for being "double-sided" since we're The Twins. Well, that's totally and 100 per cent true. So far, this year has had it's major up's and it's major down's. As of right now, I don't know where this year is going to take me, so I'm going to just let my hair down and let the wind speak to me.
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